It's official...

... I'm being stalked.

No, not by an unattractive, overweight man with middle-aged spread. No, not by one of the psych patients who truly believes that the voices in his head tell him that not showering is good for him. No. I'm being stalked by an 80-something year old woman.

Laugh it up. I did at first - now I'm just plain creeped out.

I am generally very caring and understanding with patients - so when a little old lady asked me to explain her medicines to her, I of course did so with a smile. Then the same little old lady came to the counter the next day, and asked if I would mind checking her medicines and disposing of those she didn't need or were out of date. The next day she came to ask if her blood pressure medicine could have been making her dizzy. It wasn't until she asked for me again by name on the fourth day that I realised I did, indeed, have a stalker.

Now don't get me wrong - I find it mildly flattering when people are so impressed by your knowledge and manner that they ask specifically for you when they have their next query - but seriously. Asking for me, to see if I'll help you fill in a form? To see if I'll help you fill out your postal vote? That's what the hospital volunteers are for - I'm a pharmacist, not your secretary.

So today, I worded up the girls in reception and told them that anyone who asks for me by name is to be told that I'm not working today, and that I was on leave for a few weeks. Worked a treat with Little Old Stalker Lady.

Pity our hospital's equivalent of 'McDreamy' from Emergency came around looking for me today... damnit.

The all-important first post...

How on Earth is one supposed to lose their blogging virginity, exactly?

Is it supposed to be a somewhat uncomfortable, slightly painful experience where each party compliments each other, even though deep down both know that it was just utter rubbish? Is it supposed to be done under the cloak of darkness, so as not to draw attention to one's imperfections? Can I get pregnant the first time? Hmm, I certainly hope not!

First things first - I am a twenty-something Pharmacist who divides her time between hospital and community, using one to maintain career satisfaction, and one to subsidise the less-than fantastic wage of the other!

I am continually frustrated by a number of things in my work, mostly how people can be "stupid" 99.98% of the time, and in the other 0.02% they're too busy being difficult. In fact, I am often to be found swearing under my breath, through gritted teeth, while smiling sweetly and generally being the "nice pharmacist".

Anyway. Today was no exception to the "stupid, stupid-head" rule. A doctor wrote a prescription (yes, I was at the hospital) for a cream of a rather intimate nature, with the instruction to apply a 'teaspoon' daily for 6 days. A teaspoon? Are you kidding me? I mean, I know we deliver children through that particular passage, but if you can find me even one woman that would willing apply said cream with said implement, I will give her every tube of said cream in my dispensary for free. Stupid, stupid head.

Then I had a patient tell me not to consume anything with artificial sweeteners - because if they warm up, they turn into arsenic and I will die. Yes. Absolutely. And I also believe that if I put my hands over my eyes, noone can see me. Good job, lady.

Then, just in case I wasn't truly despairing in the state of the human race, I served a young woman who had a script for antibiotics that, just between you and I, were definitely not for a "sore throat" as she tried to tell me... ahem, I'm a pharmacist, love. I went to school for nearly as long as you've been alive to learn exactly what antibiotics we treat chlamydia with. I know exactly how you got it, even. But I'll nod my head, speak sympathetically and even give you a few choice tips on things you can do for that terrible cold you must have.

I'm sure tomorrow will be no different... it never is.