Whatever happened to...

... the lost art of conversation? I borrowed this from Tazifier as I felt the world needed reminding... particularly one guy I used to think was a complete gentleman! Yes, LM, that's YOU (and the things I want you to think about are italicised for your reading pleasure)!

10 Secrets of Social Etiquette in Conversation
Social etiquette in conversation isn't about being posh or speaking with a plum in your mouth. It's about simple good manners. What's most important is that you put the person you're talking to at ease and that they feel as though they had chance to say what they wanted to say and that you listened to them and responded to them sensitively.

There are a few things to bear in mind about conversation etiquette:

1. Don't hijack the conversation
Conversations should be two-way processes where you find out about the other person and what they think on a topic, as well as telling them what you think. Looking at the other person's body language will give you hints about when you've talked enough. Their eyes glazing over as they heave heavy sighs and glance at their watches is always a clue you should stop talking pretty soon!

2. Give people time to speak
Not everyone finds it easy to say what they want to say. Don't be afraid of a few silences in your conversations. A quick look at the face of the person you're talking to will let you know whether they're pausing to think of what to say next; if they've fallen asleep in boredom or if they're scoping the room looking for an escape route! Whatever it is, you probably ought to let them do it.

3. Invite others in
If you can see that someone is struggling for something to say - help them out. Phrase what you said differently if it needs a response and they seem not to understand. But don't be patronising.

4.Also - ask questions.
Make the questions easy to understand and respond to. That will give the person you're talking to a prompt and help the relax into talking to you.

5. Give people a chance to answer - and make sure you listen.
Some people jump straight in with an answer; others like to ponder a question and give a considered response. Either of those options is fine, so make sure you leave time for an answer to be given. You only have to look at facial expressions and body language to know if they are wanting you to step in and rescue them by speaking again.

6. Respect other people's opinions
It doesn't really matter whether the world agrees with you, does it? People are entitled to their opinion and you don't have to launch a single-handed campaign to convince them of the error of their ways. You won't succeed anyway and why does it matter to you? Unless someone is likely to be harmed by holding a particular opinion, leave it well alone. Even if there is a risk of danger, think carefully about whether you're the right person to tell them about it.

7. Don't rain on someone's parade
That's partly linked to the last point, but basically, it means don't dampen someone's enthusiasm. You may see all sorts of pitfalls in their plans or what they're saying, but do you really have to be the person to tell them? Can't you let them find out these things for themselves? After all, the problems you fear may not actually arise.

8. Don't be a know-it-all
You may have a wealth of wisdom and knowledge to pass on to someone, but unless you do it in the right way, it won't be appreciated and it won't do any good. It's important not to be smug when passing on advice. Don't pretend you have all the answers - because you really don't. Also - don't make the other person feel stupid. It's bad manners and they won't listen to you anyway.

9. Don't make disagreement personal
It's fine to differ in opinions - even with friends and loved ones. That's just life and it doesn't hurt anyone. A difference of opinion doesn't have to cause a row and it can actually lead to an interesting conversation - if you approach it right. That means not making the other person feel stupid for thinking as they do; don't bully or berate someone into agreeing with you - this actually won't work anyway; even if they say they now agree with you, they'll probably be lying! Don't resort to abuse and name calling - and listen to the other person's point of view; you'll have an easier life - and you may even learn something.

10. Difficult conversations were never meant to be easy
Lack of tact is a huge conversation faux pas. It alienates people and means you just don't get listened to. Think whether you really need to have a difficult conversation with someone - if you think the are making a potentially harmful choice, for instance. Choose your battles on this and make sure you're the right person to have the conversation; are you close enough and trusted enough to advise this person?

It's simple good manners to choose carefully what you say to people. Make them glad they talked to you. Try to make people feel better for having talked to you. If you know a comment will be unwanted, don't make it unless it's absolutely necessary for someone's welfare. Those are the simple rules of social etiquette in conversation.

This ROCKS...

... so I felt the overwhelming need to share.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNzrwh2Z2hQ

Words to live by...

I'd lost my faith in the world and everyone in it over the past few days, then I remembered this... feel a little better now.

You know you've grown up when...

It's kicked in.

That whole maternal, clucky, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at every child under the age of three thing.

I don't recall it happening gradually. No. It hit me like a bullet train and left me mangled on the tracks of life.

Now, normally such revelations wouldn't really worry me. It's more that I'm single, and now I have a primal, biological urge I can do absolutely nothing about.

I have a great career. I'm in a fabulous place right now. But if you'd told me six months ago that by the start of 2010 I'd be quite happy to get married, buy a house, have kids, get a dog, and live a life of domestic bliss - I'd have either laughed at you until I peed my pants, or gotten a migraine at the very mention of it.

The question that has got me thinking is a simple one: is this whole change of focus going to make me an even pickier woman on the dating market? Am I now automatically sizing up men to whether or not they would be father material? Am I now even less likely to find the man I want to spend the rest of my days with, because I am now looking for "The One" as opposed to "The One for Now"?

When all is said and done, it's not the thought of finding the man I want to grow old with that scares me.

It's that I know exactly who he is. And he can't find it within himself to be that man. That's what scares me.

Ain't it funny...

... how you'll be laid up in bed for a while, and find yourself so bored that you think to yourself "Hey, I'm gonna start a blog.". Then, during the course of that thought process, you realise you HAD one a considerable period of time ago, that you just got a tiny bit bored with?

Hmm.

Well, even with my terrible lack of dedication to the task, I am now seeing that there are people who get to quit their jobs to blog - I hate them. I would love a job that required me to stay at home in my PJs (or whatever attire I felt like for that day) and just type away. That said, when I'm on deadline for some of my journalistic stuff, guaranteed I will also have the worse ever case of writers block which frustrates me no end - I can only imagine what I'd be like if I had to churn out a couple of blog posts a day, and I could honestly think of nothing to say.

Anyway. I've been having a bit of an existential crisis. Not knowing what I want to do or where I want to be. It's turning into a bit of a December tradition for me. Don't get me wrong - aside from the creepy, creepy stalkers and stupid, stupid head patients (and obviously the small yet ever-present section of my patient population who manage to satisfy both criteria) - I really quite like what I do for a living. It's just that I like the thought of other stuff more some days. Like blogging. If anyone actually reads this rubbish that I am writing, they can rest assured that it's pretty much like I were telling you the story. While I can write like a journalist, all factual and knowledgable, I am also quite capable of flicking to the other side, where friends and colleagues will read what I've written and say "Wow - I could hear you saying every word... because that's exactly how you'd say it.". And it's true - why talk like a pretentious prat in a blog? Seriously?!

Anyway, back to the story. A part of me would dearly like to try the journalism thing. The PR thing. The working in the industry I love thing. The going back to my roots and teaching music thing. Is anyone else sensing my problem here? I have too many 'things'. There's pharmacist me, journalist me, music teacher me, and the me that would like to try something new altogether. Crikey. If only I had the multiple personalities to match - you know, in the style of "The United States of Tara" - then I could do it all and have a completely different wardrobe for each occasion. Now that actually sounds somewhat enticing...

So what to do? Head back to location A, or stay in location B? Or make a fresh start in location C, which has always held some appeal? Ahh, the decisions... this is why you shouldn't get in bad car accidents. You can't get out of bed for weeks on end, and it gives you too much time to think. Counterproductive in the extreme...

It's official...

... I'm being stalked.

No, not by an unattractive, overweight man with middle-aged spread. No, not by one of the psych patients who truly believes that the voices in his head tell him that not showering is good for him. No. I'm being stalked by an 80-something year old woman.

Laugh it up. I did at first - now I'm just plain creeped out.

I am generally very caring and understanding with patients - so when a little old lady asked me to explain her medicines to her, I of course did so with a smile. Then the same little old lady came to the counter the next day, and asked if I would mind checking her medicines and disposing of those she didn't need or were out of date. The next day she came to ask if her blood pressure medicine could have been making her dizzy. It wasn't until she asked for me again by name on the fourth day that I realised I did, indeed, have a stalker.

Now don't get me wrong - I find it mildly flattering when people are so impressed by your knowledge and manner that they ask specifically for you when they have their next query - but seriously. Asking for me, to see if I'll help you fill in a form? To see if I'll help you fill out your postal vote? That's what the hospital volunteers are for - I'm a pharmacist, not your secretary.

So today, I worded up the girls in reception and told them that anyone who asks for me by name is to be told that I'm not working today, and that I was on leave for a few weeks. Worked a treat with Little Old Stalker Lady.

Pity our hospital's equivalent of 'McDreamy' from Emergency came around looking for me today... damnit.

The all-important first post...

How on Earth is one supposed to lose their blogging virginity, exactly?

Is it supposed to be a somewhat uncomfortable, slightly painful experience where each party compliments each other, even though deep down both know that it was just utter rubbish? Is it supposed to be done under the cloak of darkness, so as not to draw attention to one's imperfections? Can I get pregnant the first time? Hmm, I certainly hope not!

First things first - I am a twenty-something Pharmacist who divides her time between hospital and community, using one to maintain career satisfaction, and one to subsidise the less-than fantastic wage of the other!

I am continually frustrated by a number of things in my work, mostly how people can be "stupid" 99.98% of the time, and in the other 0.02% they're too busy being difficult. In fact, I am often to be found swearing under my breath, through gritted teeth, while smiling sweetly and generally being the "nice pharmacist".

Anyway. Today was no exception to the "stupid, stupid-head" rule. A doctor wrote a prescription (yes, I was at the hospital) for a cream of a rather intimate nature, with the instruction to apply a 'teaspoon' daily for 6 days. A teaspoon? Are you kidding me? I mean, I know we deliver children through that particular passage, but if you can find me even one woman that would willing apply said cream with said implement, I will give her every tube of said cream in my dispensary for free. Stupid, stupid head.

Then I had a patient tell me not to consume anything with artificial sweeteners - because if they warm up, they turn into arsenic and I will die. Yes. Absolutely. And I also believe that if I put my hands over my eyes, noone can see me. Good job, lady.

Then, just in case I wasn't truly despairing in the state of the human race, I served a young woman who had a script for antibiotics that, just between you and I, were definitely not for a "sore throat" as she tried to tell me... ahem, I'm a pharmacist, love. I went to school for nearly as long as you've been alive to learn exactly what antibiotics we treat chlamydia with. I know exactly how you got it, even. But I'll nod my head, speak sympathetically and even give you a few choice tips on things you can do for that terrible cold you must have.

I'm sure tomorrow will be no different... it never is.